By John C. Friel Ph.D., Linda D. Friel M.A.
It's expected that as many as 34 million humans grew up in alcoholic houses. yet what concerning the remainder of us? What approximately households that had no alcoholism, yet did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy difficulties, melancholy, difficulties in expressing emotions, plus all of the different character characteristics that could produce a kin procedure very like an alcoholic one? numerous thousands folks fight with most of these dysfunctions each day, and until eventually very lately we struggled by myself. Pulling jointly either concept and medical perform, John and Linda Friel supply a readable clarification of what occurred to us and the way we will be able to rectify it.
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Additional info for Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families
60. We were sexually abused by someone when we were five years old but blame ourselves, telling ourselves that we should have known better at age five. 61. Some of us had a parent who was chronically ill when we were growing up. 62. Some of us had a parent who was mentally ill when we were growing up. 63. Some of us had no parents at all when we were growing up. 64. We are survivors, who deep down inside pray that someday life will be more than just mere survival. Page 22 65. We are lovers of life whose little child is locked inside of us, waiting to be set free.
We tire of this, and it swings to the other extreme, where we feel enmeshed, smothered and angry. Then it swings back again. This is true in many areas of our lives, until we get into a solid recovery program. On our way to conduct a workshop in Texas a few months ago, we generated a list of our own which might help to begin to describe the troubles that plague Adult Children: 1. We are people who hit age 28 or 39 or 47 and suddenly find that something is wrong that we can no longer fix by ourselves.
Tina cried most of the morning, alone and confused. The child inside of her had turned into a monster and she didn't know what to do with it. In sheer panic and desperation, she picked up the telephone book and found the name of a psychotherapist. She spent most of the afternoon battling with herself over whether to call or not. But as the time neared for school to be out for the day, she picked up the phone and dialed the number. "I don't know what's the matter with me," she told Frank and the children that evening, "but I'm going to get some help to find out.