By Alla Renee Bozarth Ph.D
For these folks operating throughout the heartbreak of grief, writer Bozarth bargains clever and comforting suggestion.
Read Online or Download A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving PDF
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Additional info for A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving
Put major decisions on hold, if you can. Rely on the security of the familiar until you're more healed. If the familiar is not nourishing, protective, or safe, make external changes which are somehow guaranteed by friendly presences. Allow yourself to suffer your own healing process, to sufferyour own meaning. You need to discover what the loss means to you, and what the healing means as well. Let it take as long as it takes. The greater the loss, the longer your recovery may be. The more meaning whatever is lost had for youor the more of yourself and your life or time you had invested in itthe more of yourself and the more life and time will go into the healinga.
If your loss cuts deep or if it is an old loss that's been buried alive without ever having been fully Page 19 grieved over, it's important that you not be alone when you do specific grief work. Have human resources available for comfort and reassurance, to ground you, to bring you back to reality in this moment. If you descend far down into your deep or old pain, you will need someone physically present to help bring you back up to reconnect. A skilled therapist or an understanding friend can be a blessed companion on a journey deep into an intensely felt loss.
What you cannot say, write. You might keep a journal. I once began a journal after many years away from the practice. It was a grief journal, and I used it solely for the self-therapy of grieving. The blank paper could reject none of my pain and was never bored by it the way another human being Page 16 might have been, or the way I, myself, was becoming. Besides talking, let yourself cry as often as needed. You need not cry in front of others, if this inhibits you. First, let yourself cry in private.